Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
He wants to be 'in an open relationship'. Fuck that. That's the online equivalent of letting him pee in a circle around me.
His sex texting was like a step by step guide to the most boring sex ever...
I'm considering telling her about my dream where I made a sex tape with her boyfriend. you know to test our friendship
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.
I woke up with my vibrator in my bed so I'm assuming I had a decent night.
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
I came in like 30 seconds, and my dog got to watch me take the walk of shame to the bathroom to clean up. All in all, not my best performance.
When I woke up I had 6 missed calls making sure I was ok and asking if I remember showing my tits to a picture of her baby.
Sitting naked in my bed eating leftover Mexican food drinking coors light.. Can it get any more single than this?
Got pulled over today for going 90 in a 40 zone with my leg out of the window. Still got out of the ticket. I'm getting way too good at this. Wanna trade bodies so we can see if it's my boobs or my charm?
i look like i'm walk-of-shaming but i'm really showered and re-clothed and rallying. i fool everyone
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
Randomize
