Ikea night.
?
Insert tab A into swedish slot B
and then he ordered a "diet and rum" like the most important part of the drink was the diet.
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
i just saw that homeless guy who dresses like the cat in the hat at the liquor store. i guess he got enough change to have a good weekend. oh the places he'll go
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
Today's work quote "if I looked like you, I'd be sitting on everyones face"
Hello, the Less Drunk that has my sister's phone. I am the Moderately Drunk. I am questioning your Friday activities. Why are you not the More Drunk?
I feel like a pet sloth would complement my lifestyle.
I just want nice things and good sex
walk of shame. I'm wearing my rain jacket over my dragon costume. My tail keeps dragging in the rain.
My life hurts
I woke up 30 minutes away from the bar, my car was at a train station, and when I got home all I got was the speechless head shake
To be fair I went my whole first week without showing up to work drunk!
Like Is it appropriate to tell your boss you banged a guy in the back of a truck at a wedding? Probably not.
No I will not paint you for Mardi Gras in town. It is going to rain and you don't need another ID charge
Randomize
