no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
Listen, what he fails to understand is that the Olive Garden does not equal pussy.
It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
I just past a guy who was biking and double fisting wit glass beer bottles. That is what i call talent
Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
Yes I was being legit. That's the only plant I want in my house. A growing penis.
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
I told him I had AIDS after he bit me. His dad cried. I think I just ruined the little guy's 3rd birthday, but he had in coming.
Well, I found my bra. It's in my glove compartment with a half-eaten Snickers bar and a Jesus bookmark.
Nothing like banging your nurse in the shower while staying in the hospital
One day we'll be rich enough to go to rehab. Until then, fuck it.
I'm so high. I'm going to need directions to get home.
And for the record I didn't even have sex last night. I threw up in his toilet and slept in his bed until noon
At Target. Everyone is stocking up on food and flashlights for this storm. I stocked up on beer. Dont judge me, it was on sale...
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