I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
When the moon hits your eye like a big pizza pie, you're a dumbass
We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
you went through ur friends list and posted an obscene comment on every ultrasound pic...."not his" "looks like a sea monkey"
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
I should send him a pic of my crotch with the caption "thanks for the memories"
My date bailed but I got to take a nap so I'm cool with it.
Long story short if you're going to get drunk on a sailboat at night leave your phone in the car.
Last time I "ran into him" I ended up with the clap and had to explain why the ladder was missing from the garage.
he called me his ex's name during sex then proceeded to cry while still in me
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
ALL I WANT IS SEMEN IN/ON/AROUND MY BODY. WHY IS HE MAKING THIS SO HARD.
Randomize
