brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
I am looking at the epitome of fake boobs right now
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
Any night you end up on the couch next to the trash can with a bag of white wine on your head is a rough night.
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
She had one drink in her cleavage and another in her hand. She kept rotating between the two by leaning backward and then sipping the one in her hand.
I woke up on the toilet with my feet gorilla glued to the floor, cake and makeup on my face and my hand glued to my head.
Welcome to the world of vodka. Rule #1: NEVER PASS OUT. Happy 21st
Please hurry up and come back. This is so awkward. He's showing me banana videos.
On another note, I feel like my vagina is slowly being peeled off with a rusty potato peeler.
Look outside and see if the septic tank explodes when I flush this.
See what happens when I don't get laid? I make poor life decisions, like buying baby ducks.
Oh Jesus. Are you going to the hospital?
No I'm showering then leaving for Vegas
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
I woke up in the basement of a pizza restaurant... I would say the tequila hit me pretty hard.
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
Randomize
