how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
Somehow me showing up to/breaking into her house only to find I was a week early for the party became a night of weed cookies and sex.
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
I'm fighting fire with fire. When my parents interrogate me about what I was doing last night, I tell them the truth. Every disgusting, awkward detail. I'm 23 now and they need to get used to it.
to instagram or to not instagram the picture i took of when i shit in the urinal
I was living a snoop dogg song I fucked her on the floor so I wouldn't mess up my bed
I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
We're about to play the try not to vom at the president's house game...
I snorted xanax while wearing reindeer antlers. Prancer gone wild. Have a merry Christmas.
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
I think I just did my first walk of shame. He sent me home with a watermelon from his farm. Southern one night stands.
Hella random but just hear me out...A bar that is a petting zoo. Bitches love petting zoos.
admittedly, geting that drunk in front of my last two exes wasnt a good idea
probably didn't help that you cheated on them with each other either
Randomize
