Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
my dad is going to jail this weekend
where are we going to get our weed from?
right before he busted, he moaned the british are coming.
only on the fourth of july.
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
So hungover im counting my own breaths to make sure im not dead. The odds hurt.
I'm gonna keep a minimum of five drink promise to myself
You mean maximum 5?
I unknowingly motorboated my boyfriend's ex-gf last night. Yay me!
Eating a TV dinner and watching Goosebumps on Netflix, the sad, sad title of my autobiography.
sidebar: i fucked your brother last night
Your favorite boobs are sending you seasons greetings
Our office went out together for the first time to celebrate the fact our coworker got fired.
Randomize
