you always know who the new freshman are on fb because theyre always wearing prom dresses
I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
I'm having one of those days where I just want to lay in bed and beat off all day
I woke up to find her cooking breakfast wearing nothing but my Nuggets jersey. I don't think this could end better.
They upped the price of Plan B! Rite-aid is going to be the reason I have illegitimate kids.
Just saw a woman walking a golden retriever and a vacuum down the road. I miss downtown.
Let's paint friendship bongs
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
Oh and .... you'll love this: my life coach says you writing my online dating profile isn't a horrible idea.
You guys I wore sweatpants to work today because I simply forgot to put on real pants and I had a weed brownie and a juice box for breakfast. I am not ready for parenting.
I woke up in the bathroom clutching a stuffed shark. My night was fantastic, thanks for asking.
I just spent 100$ at a sex shop to make myself feel better. And I signed you up to win 200$ so if you win, it's mine. And yes I'm serious.
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
Randomize
