i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
I hate when people I sell to add me on Facebook. I'm your dealer, not your friend, C'mon people.
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
we found his I.D. in the upstairs bathroom...under a towel in a hidden pile of snacks from her kitchen
I had to throw a towel over the bottles cuz it hurts to look at them
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
i think the title to my autobiography shall be, "a bottle of vodka and various pieces of meat"
and this is why you're my favorite gay friend.
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
I walked in on him fucking my best friend. I think we've reached the point of following each other on twitter.
I'm in public and Taylor Swift is playing. It is taking all my effort to not screech like a goat.
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
We have angered the beer gods. It feels like I'm shitting angry cats.
I feel like I should send her I'm sorry I've been fucking your boyfriend flowers.
I swear to God...this day is one great big who's who in the land of fucked uppedness.
Randomize
