it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
She's sitting on the couch buck naked, eating a cupcake for dinner. I'm breaking new ground as a parent here.
I'm making celebratory pizza rolls. They're a lot like regular pizza rolls, but without the taste of shame.
He shaved off his eyebrows. This is not my life.
apparently i saved myself a memo last night titled "cake" and all it says is "i love it so much"
We tried to break her futon, I crushed my balls instead. You have one less reason to be jealous that my balls are insanely huge and yours are not.
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
I'm using toast as a chaser. If I wasn't already so fucked up this would be revolting.
She asked if i could guess "what shape her carpet was". I got it wrong (christmas tree).
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
Immediately after I scarfed down an Applebee's appetizer trio for lunch, my boss sent me on an hour long road trip to pick up some parts. Great. I can't wait to shit my pants on US-31 South.
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
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