so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
the next time i see a chick with leggings under her jean skirt...i'm gona beat her ass with a fashion magazine...
Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
I feel bad for the person that has to clean the dishes that I peed on last night.
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
I just did a drunk experiment to find out what it looks like when you turn a burner on the stove on while wearing night-vision goggles. I may be blind in my right eye now.
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
Living room floor. I asked him to give me a back rub. He did. And smoothly transitioned that to foreplay, then basically threw me on the floor. My vagina hurts. He deserves another Christmas present.
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
Whiskey chased with ice cubes? Here's a big FUCK THAT to that
This summer has already been like the best summer ever. FREEDOM IS AWESOME. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND GOD BLESS THE SINGLE LIFE.
I'm eating chocolate cake while this guy snaps me from the gym. Like I cant believe i actually considered getting rid of this cake. Have fun sweating ima eat this cake 👌
you should probably call the Bronx Zoo in the morning to formally apologize
its the right thing to do
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
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