Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls
im just gonna lie here and collect money in this whoppers bag while sprawled out on this bench and explain that its to buy weed for my hangover
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
Okay let's look at your past accomplishments you've done hungover... Sat great score, academic decathlon, state for track. I think you are solid to go out tonight
What the hell happened to my hand?
Well, you got in a fight with a cabbie while jaywalking, but we got you to walk away. The problem was 80 blocks away, when you punched a parked taxi for "running you over".
Funny you say that, I just sold my stripper pole to my mom tonight...
Working nightshift means its never too early to start drinking- and you can quote me on that
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
No I’m scared man. She sharted. In my car. Wearing a dress. And I still like her.
Wow
My alcoholism is old enough to drink.
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