I just got stood up by an 18 yr old. fmylife.
At my boss' house at a bbq. Had a few beers. Taking a poop - there's no TP...this is my nightmare.
So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
You know how I got mad at him for making out with his formal date? Apparently I fucked mine. I'm guessing any exclusivity is out of the question.
Just had to buy plan b w/ my robotic baby from family living.. Awkward.
You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
I like it when Amish boys stare at my boobs, even tho I can't tell if it's in appreciation or disgust. Rumspringa, mothafuckers.
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
I sliced my fucking arm open last night after margarita madness and had to drive myself to the ER. Got six stitches and a social worker came in and asked if I was abused due to my sex bruises. I literally had to tell her "don't worry, I like it rough"
I honestly don't understand how your night went from singing a touching rendition of Africa to an angry political rant to low key trying to find a frat boy to bang to doing dishes to yoga
You should have thought of that before emitting walrus sounds while intoxicated
Oh, the accent alone guaranteed a bj. It was when he started drunkenly singing in PERFECT PITCH that I knew I was fucking him.
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