i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
I successfully cooked a taquito with a lighter! My stomach hurts now tho.. im either guna blame it on the undercooked taquito or im feeling guily about porkin my brothers gf a lil bit ago
u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
I think I could pass a breathalyzer. But with like a C.
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
Try to make ecstasy cheese. Capitalize on the molly and greek yogurt trends. MARKETING
I am literally sitting here with a jar of Nutella and a spoon, reading an article called "never drink alone again because now there's wine for cats." How single am I?
I just got dropped off by that cop that pulled you over. Best sex ever! Consider that $140 ticket my birthday present.
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
Oh shit that's not good dude. I'd head straight for Williamsport hospital the first ingredient in that shit is lithium batteries. You don't want to know what the second one is
I miss you.
Yeah, I don't want to have sex.
He kept saying "i'm lost" while he was sitting on his couch...
I can't talk, I can't walk, I think I'm twitching and I'm not even sure if I'm typing this. Help
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