All we did was argue about ponys and drug dealers
I can't wait for the 4th. I'll probably get drunk and end up puking all over whichever 18 year old I end up making out with.
will i regret this in the morrning? probably. but every decision is good during happy hour
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
Whiskey dick is like insurance for making bad decisions
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
You know what the worst feeling in the world is? Sitting in your 6pm AA meeting still hungover from the night before
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
I'm crying and shaving my Bronco playoff beard
Thinking about wearing all black to the bar tonight since I'll be attending my liver's funeral.
I think I achieved my goal of being high for 24 hours in the same week I promised myself I wouldn't smoke anymore
Just realized I've spent more nights sleeping on bathroom floors the last two weeks than in my own bed. It's time to reevaluate my life.
Randomize
