i just renamed my vag "the sorting hat"
There was a gorilla playing an accordion outside of my last final. I miss college already.
i was on the fence about his sexual orientation until he referred to his marlboro loghts as "carrie bradshaws"
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
These 23 People Had Coworkers From Hell
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
Okay. But I hope it isn't expensive lingerie. Because I'm ripping it off Hulk Hogan style.
U were yelling that I wasn't generous or supportive. Then you kneeled and said this weird prayer about the windows and doors of your life.
Bruce the cab driver wants to take me on a date to see Taken 2
I can measure my amount of vomit in solo cups.
21 NSFW Facts About Famous Celebrities That Will Blow Your Mind
I was hooking up with him and then someone banged on the door and shouted "When you get the chance, will you put the weed on the veranda?"
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
I don't understand why you're so excited, it's my vagina not yours.
Like I could never be a lawyer because I would just look like a porn star impersonation of a lawyer.
I just ordered a onesie on amazon in the back of the ambulance while my patient was sleeping. I'm an adult