We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
Do you relize what downtown will be like this week? Like open season. But instead of deer its hot baseball players from all over the country that we'll never have to see again. I swear the college world series is a gift from god.
You dont realize corn stalks will cut until you run from the cops through a corn field.
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
At some point tonight the bad ideas in my head became bad decisions that happened outside my head
Just walked into McDonald's and a bunch of fat girls gave me a look like I just entered their territory.
SOS. HE HAS PASSED OUT AND IS LYING ON TOP OF ME. HE IS STILL INSIDE. HELP
Well you tried to pay for a drink with your keys for one...
Would it be weird to jack off in the hospital?
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
I didn't know where you were for like 15 minutes and then I went in the bathroom splashing water on the mirror and throwing hand towels around saying that you were "redecorating"
Just ate an entire BBQ chicken pizza this better go to my tits
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
You're telling that to the kid drinking Jack in nothing but a graduation cap