Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(862): View more from New Jersey

Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.

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(862): Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me. http://tfl.nu/hfa7

Replies (40) Good night (2277) Bad night (3230)
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(610): View more from Pennsylvania

why does my vagina smell like weed?

(215): View more from Pennsylvania

omg thats a great idea

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(610): why does my vagina smell like weed? (215): omg thats a great idea http://tfl.nu/ft3y

Replies (30) Good night (4435) Bad night (946)
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(407): View more from Florida

She told me I reminded her of the fair. And she wanted to deep fry my dick and eat it.

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(407): She told me I reminded her of the fair. And she wanted to deep fry my dick and eat it. http://tfl.nu/q87n

Replies (23) Good night (1597) Bad night (6887)
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(503): View more from Oregon

How do you politely bring up someone's criminal record?

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(503): How do you politely bring up someone's criminal record? http://tfl.nu/dn2a

Replies (37) Good night (1042) Bad night (4466)
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(607): View more from New York

When black out puking doesn't involve crying and promises to never get drunk again... to just a subtle, 'excuse me while I go vomit in the bathroom of this bar'.. you know you've finally grown up.

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(607): When black out puking doesn't involve crying and promises to never get drunk again... to just a subtle, 'excuse me while I go vomit in the bathroom of this bar'.. you know you've finally grown up. http://tfl.nu/oiun

Replies (10) Good night (4773) Bad night (1085)
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(612): View more from Minnesota

Is it wierd that you're going to be my best man and you've fucked my wife?

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(612): Is it wierd that you're going to be my best man and you've fucked my wife? http://tfl.nu/rjpj

Replies (34) Good night (2180) Bad night (8481)
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(920): View more from Wisconsin

I just melted my phone trying to make cookies. I think that's a sign.

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(920): I just melted my phone trying to make cookies. I think that's a sign. http://tfl.nu/97x1

Replies (12) Good night (681) Bad night (1441)
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(613): View more from Ontario

How do you say "get out of my apartment" in Spanish. No time to explain, just tell me.

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(613): How do you say "get out of my apartment" in Spanish. No time to explain, just tell me. http://tfl.nu/pw4l

Replies (8) Good night (1823) Bad night (667)
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(864): View more from South Carolina

I have officially tracked lube all over our house on the bottom of my socks without knowing it. Don't slip when you come in

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(864): I have officially tracked lube all over our house on the bottom of my socks without knowing it. Don't slip when you come in http://tfl.nu/mz6f

Replies (3) Good night (1222) Bad night (799)
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(207): View more from Maine

he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else

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(207): he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else http://tfl.nu/pyqa

Replies (4) Good night (922) Bad night (1541)
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(434): View more from Virginia

It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.

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(434): It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually. http://tfl.nu/a0fb

Replies (2) Good night (605) Bad night (369)
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(618): View more from Illinois

I know what you meant. If you want babies in time for your birthday, we gonna need either a time machine or a ski mask.

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(618): I know what you meant. If you want babies in time for your birthday, we gonna need either a time machine or a ski mask. http://tfl.nu/me9u

Replies (2) Good night (516) Bad night (377)
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(206): View more from Washington

No, you made a silk sheet toga and held up a dildo calling yourself "The Statue of Puberty". People made pilgrimages from the other party down the block to see you.

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(206): No, you made a silk sheet toga and held up a dildo calling yourself "The Statue of Puberty". People made pilgrimages from the other party down the block to see you. http://tfl.nu/9dg7

Replies (2) Good night (1292) Bad night (384)
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(315): View more from New York

i need to start buying Plan B in bulk and leaving them at the door. I'm really sick of walking to CVS with my one-nighters

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(315): i need to start buying Plan B in bulk and leaving them at the door. I'm really sick of walking to CVS with my one-nighters http://tfl.nu/mv30

Replies (16) Good night (398) Bad night (967)
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(602): View more from Arizona

I was a bouncer for about 90 seconds until the real bouncers figured out that I was doing their job

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(602): I was a bouncer for about 90 seconds until the real bouncers figured out that I was doing their job http://tfl.nu/2673

Replies (0) Good night (770) Bad night (304)

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