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• (256): View more from Alabama

  So help me Jesus we're never drinking together again. But weekends don't count. Amen.

  Fav 3 2792 957

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• (847): View more from Illinois

  couldn't find my pants so i stole a pair of shorts from the passed out kid in the corner.

  Fav 6 2662 1006

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• (562): View more from California

  Waking up with a sore back because you put the team on it for jager pong all night

  Fav 4 1146 674

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• (972): View more from Texas

  I lull them into a false sense of security with my gayness. Then when they're vulnerable, I strike, like a snake. A big non-gay snake, with huge balls.

  Fav 9 3231 1130

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• 

  23 Men Confess The Moment They Realized They Wanted A Divorce

  Read it at the TFLN blog
  

• (810): View more from Michigan

  So I went tanning and I burned my boobs.

  (810): View more from Michigan

  They're like sad pomegranates.

  Fav 4 634 1413

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• (360): View more from Washington

  i am one UTI away from banning your fingers from my vagina

  Fav 18 614 2113

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• (309): View more from Illinois

  Do you think there are two dudes living in an apartment somewhere that go to the store and call it Brocery shopping?

  (727): View more from Florida

  Oh god...probably.

  Fav 3 1426 812

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• (631): View more from New York

  Yeah, I fucked him. and the worst part is his name was Jesus. And nobody said it in Spanish. Just Jesus. There is no way I can avoid burning when I walk into a church from now on.

  Fav 3 803 552

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• (412): View more from Pennsylvania

  Does it still count as a valentine if it's drunk phone sex at 3 in the morning

  Fav 4 632 663

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  The 23 Most Inappropriate Things To Happen At A Funeral

  Read it at the TFLN blog
  

• (586): View more from Michigan

  Have you seen that new toaster that burns your pics to toast? Let's drink some booze and discuss what I have I mind.

  Fav 3 607 335

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• (847): View more from Illinois

  My fridge door just caught on fire somehow.

  Fav 2 511 618

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• (250): View more from British Columbia

  I have drunkenly angered a family of raccoons. Please send help immediately.

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• (808): View more from Hawaii

  Don't make me do math I'm drunk and full of chicken

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• (425): View more from Washington

  While I'm here in reality dreaming of catching chili cheese fries with my mouth out of t shirt guns like Jesus is real

  Fav 0 36 24

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• (630): View more from Illinois

  Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.

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