You had a beer at 10:30 this morning?
Ya, I didn't have any Tylenol.
I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
Let's bang like we're on a Lifetime Channel movie.
The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.
My sink just fell out of the wall. I can't deal with this right now
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
I need a picture of your dick for my friends birthday card
It's so hard to find a shirt to wear out that is easily taken off, cut off my paramedics, but says "I'm a grown, respected woman"
Almost just bought a peacock. I need to get off Craigslist
Why do I think he'd like to keep my hair in a box?
seriously the second he called my tits warlocks was the second I knew I wasn't going to fuck him.
I lowered my expectations when he started off saying "ah missionary, my specialty"
The fact I have to evaluate my choice between tequila and fruity pebbles is a clear image of my life right now
P.s. I loved that your balls smelled like coconut
But if you do poop yourself let me know. I want that as a tagline. "So funny she'll make you shit yourself."