you wouldn't even come home last night... Dead to me
i always forget guys have bellybuttons
I have a sudden craving for National Treasure 2. THIS IS WHY DRUGS ARE AWESOME
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
we were running to make last call and you stopped me and said very seriously "if i fall, go on without me. just make sure theres a beer in my hand when you go"
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
Well im sitting on a futon on a porch at 1:30 in the afternoon drinking boxed wine out of a pint glass next to a chick with a homemade neckbrace. What do you think?
Why do I always miss the parties you're naked at?!
I get naked cuz your not there
My arms are hairy. And so Is my left leg. Just my left leg, the right is smooth.
apparently, dueling with garden tools in Home Depot is strictly frowned upon
Her one night stand followed us to mass. This is too funny for real life.
I just need to stop hanging out with girls who drink wine coolers.
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
I accidentally put Bacardi in my coffee this morning. I ain't even mad.
Randomize
