Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
I miss seeing your mom and dad at church, well mostly just your mom... She used to hug my face into her boobs.
Yeah sketchy neighborhood.. Some woman ran by screaming, "i didn't steal anything" as some cops rolled up and arrested her.
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
I am literally hand feeding my crying ex boyfriend taco bell. What has my life become?
He told the cop he was underage, handed the cop his ID, and the police report read "I then informed the suspect that he was not, in fact, underage"
Just woke up and my doorbell is on my nightstand... the fuck?
Anne I just took two ambiens. I think my body is melting into my blow up bed. Like a stick of butter just slowly melting. And I'm alright. Don't be afraid. I'll be alright.
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
I mostly blame me being such a miserable fuck on the fact that I was born on a Monday.
My FIANCE just told me he thought you were the prettiest out of all my friends YOU WHORE
I was trying to get nudes from last night and ended up getting a family portrait!
My apartment stinks of burning failure
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