i mistaked the back of her knee for her vagina
now i know why i became what i already was.
i'm at a baby shower....never been happier to not be having sex currently
in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
Learned a valuable life lesson last night. It's titled "Tequila: Still A Bad Idea".
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
Dead. I am actually dead. Also, worst nightmare confirmed: throwing up in a four hundred person lecture.
I love when my neighbors have passionate, loud sex to remind me that I'm not getting laid
I'm on a party bus with a stripper pole with middle aged women who have all started drinking
God bless your soul.
Her hot older sister walked in on us, looked me up and down, then stared straight at her and said "I call sloppy seconds on this one" then left. I'm still debating on how I feel about that.
Randomize
