I can't get in trouble, i'm smoking a bong in the office right now
Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
You gave the cab driver your pants as collateral while you ran in the house for money.
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
What's the standard Christmas present for six months of booty calls?
Mobile recharge?
weekly advice from mom, "Drink vodka, it las hess calories"
Nothing says "Hello, Adulthood!" quite like receiving a dick photo at 11AM from a guy you haven't heard from since fifth grade.
I can't handle more than one dick at once. I become crazy. It's hard to be mellow and free spirited and polygamous at the same time.
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
I just spent so much time grooming my landing strip and like, sex isn't even on the agenda tonight.
YOURE A FUCKING ADULT. DONT TELL ME ITS PAST YOUR BEDTIME WHEN I WANT TO GET ANOTHER COCKTAIL.
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