Goodnight my chunky, little, marshmallow muncher
If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
She just asked me if I was going to kiss her cat goodby too... This is why we don't stay till last call.
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
Remember when I was so high that I thought my appendix burst? All I had to do was fart man, just fart.
I love him. He's like the father I never had that I kind of want to fuck.
the fog machine set off the whole complexes fire alarm
The bartender gave me the kids toys. Paddle ball & a gecko.
My relaxing drive may end up as a surprise bootycall in Pittsburgh. Don't try to stop me.
What was the name of the cook I had sex with at Famous Dave's?
I'm eating those little wheels of cheese and watching storage wars, this is the opposite of sex.
I am truly sorry that you have to put your dog down. He was a great dog, and a great friend. I am still not showing you my tits.
That was the second worst thing to happen to my asshole.
Pennsylvania now holds the distinct honor of being the third state I've crapped my pants in.
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
Randomize
