I bet he comes in French.
if your phone is working sorry i called you at 2am. if it is not then i never called your phone at 2am
he thought i was a dude.
but the lizard people decide everything anyway
dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
Just looked in the mirror and i look like ive been gang banged. Im so proud of my boyfriend it almost hurts
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
That's the last time you suggest we can get our tab wiped by out-drinking the bartender.
It was my card, so what do you care that you lost?
Is your card paying for my plan b?
Do you know why I have a burn shaped like a tiny spork?
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
Friend as in 'I used to have sex with her' or friend as in 'I still want to have sex with her'?
It's a sexual break up. We maintain a friendship and leave any and all sexual attraction out. It's not hard, having a baby is harder than that.
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
This is why we can never be just regular friends. The shit we do is not regular
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
Randomize
