Call me immediately, my only recent boy news involves me biting a dick.
So I've only had a mustache for about 5 minutes and I'm already pretty sure it's the best decision I've ever made.
I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
What do you wear to apply at a strip club?
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
My Internet history has 23 searches for 24 hour cake. Self respect plummeting.
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
Last night I flashed a car full of people my tits for a bag of pretzels so yeah I'd say I was at least tipsy.
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
I have the rest of my life to settle down this is totally time for friends and pizza
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
God bless the petty bitch who invented screen shot
I woke up in nothing but my socks and my hat a cigarette in my mouth and a beer in my hand..........GREAT NEW YEARS
hey i'm sure you are probably asleep bc you suck and think sleep is necessary to live or something?
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