U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
Leave it to him to get us kicked out of a bar for hitting on an 80 year old woman. I want to be that wasted one day.
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
Dude. I realize why I got sick. 8 shots three beers in an hour. Plus I ate an expired lunchable earlier.
All I know is I drank too much, danced too little.. yet somehow woke up on the floor in the arms of some cowboy.
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
THERE IS A DOG IN THE CLUB. I repeat a dog in the club. I might have laid down and petted it..I have no shame.
He does impressions. Handy knowing you can get fucked by one guy and pretend a group of celebrities is running a train on you.
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
...okay, you can't just say 'masturbating llama' and not explain yourself
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
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