overheard a conversation between 2 lesbians: 'back when I used to have dick sex...' oh, vegas, I so heart you
i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
Just saw a cop issuing a DUI. At 3 pm. It's definitely the start of winter break.
Hmm. I hear gunshots, car horns blaring, hear drunk white people screaming, and see about fifty status updates pertaining to the hawks. I guess they won.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think he may have overheard our "how much coke would you fuck me for" conversation last night...
Whatever you gave me is making me lactate
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
I have a busted ear drum from when he honked his horn when we started to have sex on his car in the parking lot...
My new dealer was watching Space Jam and eating ham off a frisbee when I went over. He's my new favorite person
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
After we had sex he made me watch a Top Gun highlight video...
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
Wow. Ok who would waste Game 7 ticket on kids?!
Poor parenting at its best
I woke up next to my bosses toilet.i wish you had just left me in the neighbors yard.
I could not add him. He gets 5 likes on Instagram.
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