I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
I can no longer count the number of girls I've banged on my fingers and toes. It's like being born again.
I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
So many lesbians keep hitting on me. I'm about to give up and just go home with the manliest one.
please hold off on going into labor, i might need you to take me to the free clinic
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
3 2 1 whiskey
bonus check + party bus = big hot mess
So, I woke up under a table with an alarm clock on my face, my hair in a bag of popcorn, and my phone charger wrapped around me.. what happened?
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
Randomize