Well, its 5:30am and you haven't let me in, I guess ill go home
Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
threw up during christmas carols. the audience at the church seemed to immediately know i was a college student
Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
Swear. I think after passing out in a community college parking lot I can safely nominate myself for the piece of shit of the year award
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
I can't even masturbate anymore!! That was my last source of cardio!!
We're taking a shot every time Landon Donovan takes a shot. It's clever, sort of.
Can we relax the "married man" rule just once?
What the fuck i just wanna eat my froot loops and sext in peace. Y'all motherfuckers gotta be loud as shit and break my concentration
Went to bed in my room fully clothed, woke up naked in the kitchen with the dog looking unamused.
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
Just find a separated / divorcing man. They’re too upset to fall in love, too helpless to be alone and too horny to think straight. Smile at him the right way and he’ll be thrilled to be with a sexy younger woman!
Randomize
