Do you like marathons because that's how long I plan on fucking you.
How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
Just wanted to let you know that I always win at "whose ex is crazier" because of you.
you kept yelling at her to "show me your genitals" until the bouncers told us to leave...at which point you showed them YOUR genitals...
please don't ever take me to a strip club again...
Houston, we have a squirter
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
Yeah, clearly. And then we can float around my room on Christmas themed inner tubes. And drink, I guess.
Baked and hanging out with Al from Home Improvement's son. You can't make this shit up. Tuh-rippin balls
This american gymnastics guy.... He just messed up. I feel so bad. I just wanna hug him until he stops crying. Not even in a sexual way. I just wanna hug him.
How can someone be so bad at fingering? It's such a simple concept
he's like a horny 3rd grader on cocaine. he needs a leash
Okay, first we buy a pirate outfit and then we get drunk, you in or you out?
I mean seriously, she can have his dick anytime and im over here salivating like a thirsty bitch.
Bruh, I wanna absorb into the deck.
I wanna become a plank.
God I love xanex.
Finally hooked up with Ryan. Now I know why they call him “Beast Mode”. So. Many. Orgasms.
Randomize
