I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
Do you think if Santa was real that he's have a big penis?
you were smoking 3 cigarettes at once saying 'cancer isn't real! Its all in your head!'
how convenient is it that the kid i'm fucking lives right next to planned parenthood?
You swear the intervention is for her? I've fallen for that one twice.
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
I'm just saying, no one has ever made me laugh or cum as hard as you do. Sometimes at the same time which I didn't know was possible. Is there even a word for that besides love?
Forgot my sound was off and didnt even realize it until halfway through because I thought I could hear it. I think high me just narrated half a clip of adventure time
I'm running on jager fumes right now. It's like I put diesel in a prius and said fuck it.
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
Can we smoke pot out of a menorah?
I had to switch coats with someone at work because you can see the giant sex choke bruise on my neck. Being kinky is hard.
We found him sitting in the back of the club crying into a strippers lap. She told us he missed his pet frog and to come back later.
I just had to explain my bite marks to my allergy doctor when she gave me my shots...You're the best <3
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