I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
i just watched my husband get a prostate exam. sex is ruined for me.
shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
Dude i think i got lasagna in my eye
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you were cooking a hot pocket with a grill lighter what did you want me to do
I am trying to think of a way to tell him about thanksgiving and the following weekend in a way that makes me sound funny and exciting and not like an alcoholic
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
Check your mailbox. I left a "sorry I didn't have time to suck your dick today" consolation gift.
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When was the last time you wore pants?
Time is relative.
And pants are optional.
ill be home in an hour. Be in my bed ready for disappointment
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
Just stole my moms weed, left a note saying sorry.. Hope she isn't mad.
We can use the Mac n cheese as the potatoes in our breakfast burritos. Problem solved.
He was laying on a lawn chair, fell off onto his stomach and asked, "where'd the stars go?" That high.
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