You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
um i just went through the in-n-out drive thru and meant to ask for my cheeseburger animal style. turns out what i actually said was, can i get that cheeseburger doggy style? been a rough weekend.
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
Just found weed in an empty handle. Who knew Capitan Morgan was also a gardener?
Drunken snow shoveling. Visiting my family is starting to become a seriously risky venture.
If I never see my landlord's dick again, it'll be too soon.
Halfway through the blowjob she stopped and said 'Wait I know this dick'.
Wait I'm all alone with a guy and his turtle
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
But I am still fully ok with my life choices as long as the consequences aren't onesies and pacifiers
Well, if you do die, I'll bedazzle your coffin.
What's a professional way to say get your shit in gear?
Randomize
