when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
She actually said during sex "the only thing that would make this more perfect is if we were listening to Lenny Kravitz"
So, obviously, you had to give a fake number this morning.
Yes. Also, we may never be able to go back to that bar again.
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
she made my bed before she left. i think i'm gonna keep banging her to get the housework done
I'm either watching Fifth Element or Hotel Rwanda. There's black people and white people and high life tall boy 18 packs are $11.99 so I could be watching my own hand. I have no idea.
No flamethrowers. That is a direct order.
By round 4 of the Dead End shots, I thought my jaw was dislocated ... Best invention EVER.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Paying 5 grand for boobs is saving me like 10 grand in weed
Turning 21 will be slightly bittersweet. Never again will I be able to get underage drunk at Disney World, now I'll only be able to get legal drunk and that just sets a whole different and sad tone for my life.
I heard drunk is the new sober. I heard me say that. To a cop. Can you come get me??
She swallowed the key to the cuffs, I've been having to explain the pink fuzz all morning.
I'll do whatever I want when I'm 80.
If you are still alive at 80 I demand a medical explanation.
I just convinced a telemarketer I live in a tree.
What did he say?
He still asked if I want a home security system.
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