is it sad that i can masturbate and get my big O just from thinking about a Tiffany engagement ring?
He told me he could read braille... with his tongue. So I took him home. I don't think he was lying
Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
They get 5 minutes to wear their speedos at the wedding
Oh my god I'll have to be really drunk for that
My neighbor Chris is here. I am warning you, he is wearing a kilt I just saw his balls. Be incredibly careful that you don't see what I did.
Fucking her would be like seeing big foot, finding a four leaf clover , petting a unicorn, and arm wrestling a leprechaun in a matter of a 6 hour period
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
After my second liter of German beer, nothing D-cup or larger is safe near me.
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
What the fuck happened last night.... I woke up with a bowl half full of ravioli next to my head, reversed on my bed still fully clothed.....
Yes we can sext. I'm taking my socks off.
The cat just brought me a bottle opener. I think she's my soulmate.
I'd ask how but then you'd tell me.
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
Looking back at our past texts, the minute it turned 2020 you were cleaning your house and I was dying of the cold. We were prophesying the Rona.
Randomize
