last week i woke up at this guys house...this week i woke up at his ex girlfriends
considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
I started drinking at 10.30am. Ive got a solid buzz, ive decided holidays are to be treated like gamedays
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
then he tried to tell me how many times he had seen Scott's dick. his estimate was about 180 times. he thought I didn't understand.
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
There's a guy in here whose face looks like it would be perfect between my legs.
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
I'm starting to think my role in the world is to inject batshit crazy, mentally unbalanced chicks with a dose of normal sperm.
Tiny.
I mean tony. It's like autocorrect knows he wasn't well endowed.
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
Buying the inflatable beer pong table for the pool was one of the best investments I've ever made
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
Being on probation is a nice change of pace. It's refreshing to wake up and know what I did last night.
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
Randomize
