I just saw a midget ride by on a scooter...wearing a bowtie and a helmet. My life is complete.
I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
A small child is toddling around the store, holding a coloring book and a shot glass. Thinking of you.
It's times where you wake up in the hospital after trying to road surf that you wonder what you're doing in life.
They ran out of toilet paper, so I had a girl rip down the streamers so I could wipe.
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
Why is my hat full of peanuts?
Don't throw them out, I'm on my way
Remind me to tell you the story of the fuzzy condom
Drunk is not a location!
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
Even if they did assume we were doing kinky shit, it's not like they're gonna be like, "HALT SATAN! INTAKE SOME JESUS AND VOMIT YOUR SINS!"
Everyone else's "needs" are getting in the way of my alcoholism.
Randomize
