dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
my best friend tried to rape me with a pineapple
dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
meow
WTF. STOP SENDING ME ANIMAL NOISES. ITS FUCKING WEIRD.
I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
i just put all of my beerlympics medals into my academic awards box. i would say they are my greatest achievement since college.
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
i had to cut you off after you shoved a bunch of bottle caps in your mouth and pretended you had braces.
Oh you know same old same old. just eating pizza after faking extreme night terrors to get a one night stand to leave my apartment
New rule. Every time you and I have a disagreement that lasts longer than 10min, while in a bar, we'll have a shot. Figure we'll eventually start agreeing sooner rather than later...
He pushed a skinny white blonde out of the way just to tell me "you have the finest ass, like ever."
I have never loved a nerdy white boy this much.
Turns out, it's impolite to repeatedly request Seal "Kiss From a Rose" at bars
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
I have jizz, in my hair. I'm sitting in class with jizz. In. My. Hair. I need to make better life choices.
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