Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
Every perfect package comes with a warning label.
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
Apparently blazed enough to think that the sizzling meatballs in the pan were calling your name...Ssssteeeeeve
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
You told the cashier at McDonald's not to smell the ones cause you had just got back from the strip club. Good deed.
Just told my boss I wasn't coming in to work because of a serious case of blue balls. Totally made having them worth it.
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
Fun Fact: I do not remember what its like to be sober between drinking off and on for two weeks at my "vacation" and being on painkillers for my mouth now
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
I will not abuse the gift that was given to me
You were given a vagina and you abuse that pretty hard
btw...it's noon and i'm sitting here drinking wine and eating pixie stix. I really need to find something to do...
New rock bottom. Woke up at 7 am fully clothed in a bathtub full of water. I hate myself.
Randomize
