genius idea. im gonna paint my penis green like the serpent of sex
I just saw a woman point to her daughter and scream at her husband THIS IS YOUR GENES, THIS IS YOU.
I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants
Okay, guy from work I want to fuck just told me he liked the font on my PowerPoint presentation. It is so on.
Make me proud, climb that corporate ladder.
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
I owe you 20 bucks. My blood work did show liver damage.
Yeah you insisted everyone watch Space Jam at 2 in the morning then you cried the whole way through it. You were the very worst kind of drunk.
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
HEY. NO. THIS IS ABOUT YOU RIGHT NOW. YOUR COCK, MY MOUTH, THATS IT.
And then he said, "let's have sex and I'll send you home with enchiladas."
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
Happy anniversary, did you sign and mail in the divorce papers yet?
Dude \nSo embarrassed \nJust sent a snap to my boss john and noticed my vibrator was right beside me
Never again will I go to my mom's side of the family's parties. After the bride and groom cut the head off the roasted pig together they boarded their RV and rode off into the sunset.
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