thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
apparently he couldn't remember my name so he refereed to me as whats-her-boobs and everyone knew that it was me he was talking about
where are you?
Hypothermia
Also, did that cop draw hearts on everyone's hands last night?
Then I realized I was alone sitting on the bathroom floor brushing my teeth at 2am laughing to myself.
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
i took a picture of my dick. with a stick figure drawn on it. and a paper hat taped to the tip. and i call i the mayor of Dickville
I just sneezed and it made my entire body ache. Hungover is an understatement
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
I thought I was pretty much sober now but then I realized I've been eating scrambled eggs with my hands...
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
I was chasing disarono with Bacardi and watching ice cube movies. It would have been an epic birthday if I wasn't by myself and actually had some decent friends.. Hint. Asshole.
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
He asked me while we were fishing why the passion was gone when we have sex. It's official...I am the dude in this relationship.
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
Randomize
