called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
Sometimes I stick my finger in my own ass and pretend it’s a vagina. I think it’s kinda weird. What do you think?
last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
Tried to buy Xanax from my boss last night. Wrong Mike.
two fat guys on crotch rockets just invited me to 'party' with them at a del taco. why does this keep happening to me?
Picture this: me driving down 183 throwing up into a towel. I just hit rock bottom.
Oh I woke up in my neighbors garage using one of their sleeping bags, as my neighbor was doing laundry in there.
Drunbk and roasting marshmallows on my stove. Accidentally singed the catr's fur but she'sd alright.
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
Fell asleep in the library, woke up because I almost let out a sleep fart. That was close.
Okay, first we buy a pirate outfit and then we get drunk, you in or you out?
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
Crying into a glass of wine at 10 am isn't exactly how I planned this day to go
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
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