i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
there is way too much butter on my body for this to be okay
I walked in on you eating olive oil off of a plate. you gave me this look and I just started crying. we were that drunk.
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
My last google search is "how to build a flamethrower"
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
Remind me in the morning that I've now seen a guy do crack. That actually happened. I'm at the wrong party.
I'm going to miss recovering from hangovers on the beach. Rolling around in my dorm bed and watching Friends reruns is just gonna feel like slumming it.
I can't take my grandparents out somewhere where I've fucked half the staff.
We smoked a blunt in a stall where a drag queen was fucking a bartender in the ass. So theres gonna be a second date :)
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
Note to self: make sure the door is locked before the handcuffs go on.
I don't know who's idea it was to get wine for a frat party but my poor pitiful hung over self really fucking hates them.
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
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