Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
so you masturbated because Oprah told you?
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
this weekend will be like the season finale to my life
Its the little things i like about bein home like having actual toilet paper instead of subway napkins
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
I tried calming him down but his eyes are rolling to the back of his head and he's yelling "COMA WEED!"
Pretty sure the girl next to me in Chipotle just came out to her mom.
I'd just like to say before I start drinking tonight that not only do I not find you attractive; I don't want to hook up with you, suck your dick, be your "suga mama" or have your babies. Please disregard any texts, phone calls or voicemails that say otherwise..
He could stay over, if you'd just ask.
Yeah. What am I supposed to say? "Oh, my couch is occupied, but my vagina's not"
Can I please come dance in my bra to destiny's child with you? I'll bring the wine and the glitter
My mom asked me if I ever go on dates. I had to suppress the urge to ask if having casual sex with a freshmen counts as dating
My mother just made an innapropriate gesture with a cucumber while grocery shopping at whole foods... Then she said "bitches love cucumbers" and all this time i thought i was adopted
If my vagina was a person it would have a bandage around its head and it's arm in a sling rn
Dude no i feel my liver disintegrating
Randomize
