Excuse me? I'm weird? You're the one sticking your penis into a pringles can.
I wasn't fucked. I was just drunk, because i was still able to walk into the woods and masterbate.
i just woke up at 8pm naked in my bed, with a fresh haircut. I wonder what barber i went to.
I literally sat down and peed with my underwear still on. How does that happen?
today i learned why jack sparrow loved rum so fucking much
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
He wasn't eating out, he was performing a hysterectomy without a license....should I be worried about my future family?
Some kid just popped open a giant PBR and walked into his final...
He taped a champagne bottle to both his hands and called himself edward champagne hands. At one point he poured some on his lap and said " Just needed to make sure my dick got some too"
Hey, I told her the bathroom was a "No fly zone" after I used it. She willingly allowed her nose to go through that pain. It's her fault, she only supplied me with vodka when she knows I only drink rum.
I just want you to know when I bang him in the back of my car later I'll have pony by ginuwine on repeat
We're going through the drive-through at mcdonalds while pulling sam behind us in the wheelchair and having them hand him the food. Let me know how this went in the morning
you can't just call dibs on my vagina bro.
I woke up under a house in Key West
Randomize
