Dude, I just went to take a piss and looked at my ballsack... Underneath was labled "L" and "R"
Waldo just asked us for directions. Even he doesn't know where he is.
I'm eating my dinosaur chicken nuggets in the order they would die in the food chain.
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
she told me I give head better than a lesbian. I know it's a great compliment but it kind of threw me off.
Missed another period
I almost hope you're pregnant, this is unfair.
he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
Huh. I think I went to highschool with the hooker my neighbor just brought home.
I was going through my mom's stuff to find her xanax, and I found her vibrators instead. Plural. That is like the opposite of what I wanted.
Welcome to my Tuesday when my lesbian ex girlfriend shows up unexpectedly and gets me drunk and then leaves
I'm serenading his dick with my words. I understand how poets get inspiration now.
Probably should start having regular sex again too to lose this breakup weight. Good cardio.
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
Randomize
