If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
LA Sucks. The only way i can get laid is if i tell people im at a law firm that represent film producers.
And when they figure it out, they act like IM shallow.
You were dancing on the bar and fell off into the arms of the hot bartender. It was like a fairy tale, with more alcohol.
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
We can't all go after the girl with the low self-esteem
Obama's speech on in 9 mins. Me in the shower now. Naked. Make your choice.
I'm bringing the tv in with me.
In this town being related to a brewing family or the owner of a sports team is like being royalty. It's like hooking up with the queen's nephew or something.
Try explaining "the nature of your relationship" to a cop when your fuck buddy vandalized your car. Priceless.
She just called at a dance party, and you stopped mid puke to join. Another successful night.
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
I woke up with "To whom it may concern" sharpied on my dick
At least you didn't lose your virginity to chumbawumba
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
Randomize
