Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.
so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
I went out in the middle of the night to smoke my weed.. Didn't realize my dad was sitting on the patio doing the exact same thing..
where's my purse there's an important taco in it
The guy who took my order at mcdonalds asked for my number. I think we should start fucking fast food employees, they're easy and think we're goddesses.
she hid the dish soap because she was afraid someone would confuse it with the margaritas and drink it instead. her reasoning was "theyre both soo pink...i cant tell them apart"
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
It might have taken me 30 minutes but I finally finished the toast I made. That hungover.
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
Woke up with a squirrel in my bed, how was your night?
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
she stuffed her marc jacobs purse full of cereal
classy
I was really surprised he asked for my number the next morning..... and my name.
On a scale from 1 to 10 how gross is it to get a chili dog from a vending machine?
Randomize
