I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
Call me at 7:30 and make sure I'm not asleep in this booth at Waffle House.
I bought a Christmas tree in my drunken state last night, after walking a half mile in search of vino and prior to my apparently playing boardgames with my boyfriend's family. There is no way you are on my level.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the bouncer made me realize that puking in line does not get you in any faster
My dad just questioned my drinking habits... Clearly he doesn't know what kind of college education he's paying for
saw a man tazing a raccoon in the middle of the street last night... normal
No mixer. Vodka in yogurt?
I don't even know. I woke up in the bathtub with no shirt, covered in towels holding what appeared to be vanillia pudding mixed with captain morgan.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I just sold a snake to a stoned teenager.
This tiny cat is tiny breathing with her tiny lungs and im having a tiny freak out. Like those lungs have to be super tiny.
"But puppies!" Is not an acceptable excuse for trying to drunkenly steal someone's dog, you promiscuous midget!!
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
This couch is so comfortable I can tell if it's like a waterbed or I pissed myself
I really don't know where my pants are, but that's not the problem. When are you going to unlock the door?
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