i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
For future reference, even the most well-intentioned game of whiskey pong is a terrible idea.
I met the perfect girl for you, she's smart, likes cars, has at least one ear, and really blue eyes!
please elaborate on, "atleast one ear"
It's 4PM and I'm finally awake.. I'm covered in dog fur and shame. I'd say it counts as a good night.
Gonna bang his former student. Clearly I am winning this breakup.
Did the game of beer pong go wrong before or after the cops and fire department showed up?
No, trust me. Falling down the stairs is a fucking sobering experience.
I have fireworks and redbull; let's make heart attack inducing magic happen.
if it doesnt flame it aint got game is a bad drinking motto eyebrow-wise.
eyebrows regrow, your balls dont
Is cereal technically a soup?
Fuck, I'm high.
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
Mom got high last night and started crying because she feels bad for Paula Deen. This is my family.
dude I don't even care if I'm getting catfished the point is I'm going to get laid. hot bitch, fat bitch, skanky bitch, i don't care my penis is having an adventure tonight regardless
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
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