At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
Its a long story, but I have superglue on my tongue
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
Your friend, the one I told I would brush his teeth with my tongue, what's his name again?
Xanax and an ambien. And wine. I'm just waiting for mouth to mouth from some hot EMT. Sort of like the slutty girls version of sleeping beauty
This hickey is now green and covers half my neck. I have an alien hickey. I think he thought my neck was dinner.
You said you were uncomfortable with your body and then you started making whale noises
BUT YOU MUST FINISH YOUR QUEST
TO FIND THE HOLY GRAIL
AND GET DRUNK OFF YOUR ASS BY DRINKING OUT OF IT
He's like a father figure to me, except we have casual drunk sex every now and then
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
I wore sunglasses to take a shower. I might be hungover.
I started crying during a meeting at work and now I'm sitting on my couch drinking boxed wine at 1:30 in the afternoon. Fuck you too estrogen.
I'm sittin in my Hawaiian shorts watching the office eating cold asparagus. wow do I suck when you're not here.
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
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