My parents just told me I first got drunk when I was 4. Successsssssss
Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
I think a 5 ft pyramid of jello shots in honor of the egyptians is in order
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
There was a guy on the elevator dressed as santa in flip-flops giving away beer.
put me on a leash or i'm going to fuck someone
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
There is a dude in a thong with a Nerf axe having battles in the street. Welcome to Portland
I got kicked out of the hotel after wandering into the banquet kitchen at 2am trying to find the shrimp....so we're power napping in the car and then driving to madison.
Found a phone out last night at the bar. EPIC homemade porn vids on it!
Note to self: Calvin Klein's are not safe to shit in.
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
I pelvic thrusted so hard while he was eating me out that his nose started bleeding. I think it's broken. Trophy scars, right?
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