Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
Sandwiches are there for you when porn isn't.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just told my mom sparks is a health drink. Officially getting hammered on the way to the beach.
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
Just made a PowerPoint called "Reasons Why You Should Fuck Me" at his request. The sad thing is we've had sex before...
Hindsight: Dressing up in nothing but a bra, booty shorts, and police tape made for the most awkward walk of shame of my life.
You stared at the ground for like 20 minutes willing yourself to get sober
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Now that I've quit blow, I think I'm allergic to my cat....
First night of sleeping in the same bed, and she farted on me. I immediately excused myself and went home. Don't know if we're still together. Will update you.
90% sure I just opened a snapchat of you in a fuzzy bathrobe next to your ceiling collapsing
You went outside, peed in the front yard, and asked me to bring you some toilet paper.
Ya can’t just go throwing accusations around about someone pooping their pants without some hard evidence
Adulthood is putting your bongs in the dishwasher because you're too lazy to clean them manually.
Are you ok dude?
Randomize