He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
I literally have been drunk for three days entirely by myself, the world cup may kill me
Chelsea handler, $19 million - Forbes women top 100. Seriously she shaped her career around her love of vodka. HERO.
In hindsight, buying 4 different kinds of vibrators at once may have been a little overenthusiastic of me.
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
Nothing like wearing your heels and smelling like henney in the afternoon
Covered in confetti and bad decisions
I wonder if her husband knows I have my own drawer at the apartment
Please don't smoke the bong in the bathroom while you shit. It is not a shitting bong.
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
No, the high point was when you stood on a chair and shouted you were the god of tits and wine.
just once i'd like to actually BE there for your crazy drunk stories instead of just getting the play-by-play by people who can't remember half of it
Me and some guy are crying in a port a potty together after another guy broke up with both of us.
In any case. I fucked a married couple recently. Know what a straight person would've done there? Been super weirded out by 1/3 of the genitals there, that's what.
Randomize
