I intend to get homeless drunk
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
Aaaand my life has been reduced to whether I can reach to flush my puke down the toilet using my foot. The answer is yes.
Did you ask me to bring you a t-shirt to class or did I just dream that?
No, I did. It's a long story.
There's a 35% chance I'm still residually drunk from last night.
And you say you're not good with numbers...
The random guy I fucked from craigslist said I had the best smile. I take compliments where i can get them
I was cracking open beer cans, throwing them off the roof, and yelling "FRAG OUT!"
mike is out of commission and cannot make breakfast. he's sitting with two frozen waffles on his face & smiling like an idiot.
I had wine for breakfast at 6am, that's how visiting my parents went.
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
he started frosting cupcakes and licking the mini-spatula realllllly deliberately and i don't know if i'm more attracted to him or the cupcakes
I buy a new bowl every time I get a new guy. It's retail therapy.
Randomize
