Get dressed up for her? please, I could shit my pants and she would still blow me
And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
I drank gravy. I actually drank gravy. This is heaven.
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
Lesson learned. Never get fingered on an airplane.
Time is so short and I miss you. (I just watched that commercial where the people all laugh and get older and die.)
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
I just used a thesaurus to write a sext...
I shouldn't be drunk at 3 pm but alas, here we are...
I didn't pay $79 for lingerie for you to cum in 30 seconds
My liver is preforming stress tests.
I have a bottle of rum in my pocket...what does that say about me...
You come prepared
Also, I'm not that drunk, but I'm thinking of pulling the blinds all the way up and casting some porn up onto the living room TV to establish dominance over our neighbors.
It's been THREE DAYS. Why do I still have the munchies?!
Randomize
