I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
If people don't want my drunken phone call then TAKE YOUR FUCKING NUMER OFF OF FACEBOOK, like it's just that easy...
Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders?
Go back and try to find another to go home with.
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
I want you inside of me and on top of me and under me and behind me
Basically I need you to be like god, just fucking everywhere
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
It was awful. He had a wife
And now you've had a year of virgin penance. Absolve yourself.
I'm literally beginning to think that my sex dreams are prophesies
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
I feel like sleeping with foreign people is a long term investment. It's like a time share. Now when I go to London I have a place to stay.
I should've negotiated that before I sat on his face.
I think you'll appreciate my way of waking up today: Under my cubicle, boxed in by boxes of printer paper, and hung over. I don't even know how the fuck I got in here in the middle of the night. I went to my car and fell back asleep. I'm now 2 1/2 hours late.
Listen, i know this is weird for you, but as your fuck buddy, id prefer if you didnt fuck her.
Youre asking too much from me
Randomize
