I find it ironic that homeless people are so good in bed
I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
Is it because I queefed?
I wonder how many times I can be hungover in one day
Fact: The drinking you do in college doesn't affect your liver in real life.
It could have went better. They kicked us out of the casino and I drunkenly whipped her across the face with a fishing pole. Long story.
Dude give me 4 good reasons we shouldn't trade girlfriends tonight
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
I seem to remember you being very disappointed that drinking Michelob Ultra didn't give you magic powers.
What has two arms, one testicle and no credit card debt? This guy.
It's a toss up. They'll either laugh and watch you drunkenly fuck on the beach or they'll throw you deep in Mexican jail.
He thought my hair would soak it up. I HAD TO CUT IT OFF.
I feel like you guys are talking about real things and have real problems and I'm just over here like 'should I take muscle relaxers or get drunk tonight?'
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
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