She dropped a weight class after every shot I took. I thought I was just drink something magical.
Just so we're clear. I'm still making jello shots and bringing them to the bar in my purse. I don't care if its half off margaritas. Don't want anyone thirsty
Yeah... I was considering changing that part but the boxed wine is non-negotiable.
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
I need a "closed for the season, thanks for a great summer" sign for my vagina
I WAS CONCIEVED IN THE BACK OF MY CAR. THATS HOW OLD THIS CAR IS.
...how and why.
PARENTS ARE MAGIC.
We started a fund for a baby in a wine glass, I think we're pretty responsible.
gonna guess the empty vodka bottle and open can of tuna in the bathroom drawer are related?
I was going to be upset with you on moral grounds but then i realized free chocolate was involved
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
Randomize
