Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
i just was bootyclappin in front of homeless men in a back alley
that wasn't rum that I poured down your throat while you were sleeping
I have hit nutritional rock bottom I am spreading peanut butter on to lays potato chips
I just wrote "where Jason is" on the screen. He guessed "hospital" correctly.
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
My pubes were yanked out by the root when they got caught in the condom. I think it's time for a bikini wax.
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
Would you mind pretending to be lesbians just for like three emails?
He sat on me and said I owed him $10, when I asked why he just said "lap dance"
Your anal douche was on bathroom counter. Now it's in dumpster. Not ok. I am mad. Very mad.
holy shit I just remembered that story I told about Tom hanks going bowling while high.
If the sex wasn't incredible why would I compare it to cheesy tots
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
Randomize
