I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
tonight's goal was "most regrettable decision" and you bring wine coolers?
i just googled "alcohol delivery service". im combating drunk driving one lazy act a time.
No, I didn't like him that much. But I took one for the team. And by the team I mean me and my vagina.
She told me to stuff her like a turkey. She actually yelled happy thanksgiving.
Got a personal ride from safe ride. I was crying so hard. The driver said think of something happy and I said Disney. In which I sang him Aladdin. So I got home ok
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
I don't know... But I do think this is probably the longest series of texts we've written discussing your cock. David was right, it is a brave new world. Also, slow day at work again?
I'm ordering a large vanilla ice cream with rainbow sprinkles so when I vom tonight it will look like lisa frank dolphins in acid trip colors
Some lady old enough to be our mom took us home, made me eggs and he still got some. Where do I claim my best wingman/sister trophy?
I don't know what it was about last night, but every bar that i went to there was at least one girl there that i had done something with. I'm sure the girl that i went with knew because they all grabbed my penis and told me to call them.
Is there a coat check? I stole 10 vases of flowers along with two bottles of champagne and I'm not sure what to do with them.
Terrible idea I love it
But we have bathrooms and they dont
Randomize
