She kept saying "I didn't do it" but she was so drunk she forgot her pee was orange from her UTI medicine.
so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
Guy at red light looking at porn. I'm waiting for him to look over at me so I can shake my head and he can feel bad
i wanted to tell my neighbors to shut up it was 4am, but listening to her rag on him for his minute man routine was actually entertaining
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
He came in looking for condoms, iced coffee, and a gas tank. I need to be where he's going.
She swung at the pinata with crutches
I don't really know how to say this, but I have an oven mitt to return to you tomorrow..
spending today hungover and untagging myself from all the pictures of me kissing girls so grandma doesnt have a heart attack. how was your new years?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know what, don't even answer. Just promise me you'll go to the Corner of Shame when you get home.
30 year old woman with braces and crocs came into the store today with her boyfriend. what am I doing wrong.
SHE POOPED THE CONDOM WHOLE
I know right. I don't even want to have sex today. I did anyway but that's besides the point.
After 25 beers and 3 shots my best friend thought it would be an amazing idea to get his dick pierced. We are on our way.
My penis is lonely
So is my ring finger
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