Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
Sorry I couldn't get my dick out
First time i ever had an awkward silence during sex.
I incognito puked under the VIP table. Did Jersey proud.
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
Where is a good place to buy a New Year's outfit that acknowledges I don't have tits but screams I suck dick like a champ?
You know i'm the father figure
Yeah the father who ate her out with me last night. Great dad
Hey, if I'm gonna bastard a child and ruin his life, I'm going balls out.
I told you when I started the only reason I was gonna coach your kids soccer team was that I could meet all the hot soccer moms. So why are you so mad I slept with your ex?
I swear she is the Mary Poppins of drugs
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
I need to start dating older women. We tried sexting and she used more emojis than actual words. It was so bad that I did the math...her messages were 54% emoji. No one should make me feel this old when I'm only 28.
Randomize
