i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
My face smells like last night's lay. I need a whore bath. Or a corndog.
i may or may not have just grinded on your dog thinking it was my boyfriend
I just blew my nose and little bits of weed came out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
all i remember is being at the diner with her at 3am and her storming into the kitchen to make sure the chef gave me regular fries instead of home fries.
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
Just got cockblocked by my GF's wedding shower... That's a first. And I have to buy a gift.
Is cat milk safe for human consumption?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently she broke up w/ her bf like 3 weeks ago. She actually called me to be her bday hookup cause she's single now. Patience- the virtue that occasionally pays off.
He stumbled out of the bathroom with his pants around his ankles yelling "tie my shooes!"
I'm going to bed early so football can come sooner
You just managed to turn Dr. Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
I AM A SEXUAL NIGHTMARE
They were playing some sort of fast food scavenger hunt game as an ice breaker. Some chick stamped a Starbucks logo on my hand and told me to go find the girl with the matching stamp and fill her with cream.
Dave had an Arby’s stamp and some sorority girl grabbed him and screamed “I’ve have the meat!”\n
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