And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
dont you remember the bouncer yelling at you while you were trying to piss?
no. why was the bouncer in the bathroom?
he wasn't. neither were you.
Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
Do you think she hates me because I thought her roommate's name actually was Butterface?
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
He wasn't there when I woke up so I left him a heart shaped line before I left.
Think I pulled my pelvic muscle.
I think I pulled my ashamed of myself muscle.
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
His baby mama found the pictures of us, she couldn't see my face but she could see my asshole. So I'm safe.
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
I have filthy fantasies involving his tongue. My vagina almost exploded while he was licking that ice cream cone.
Randomize
