eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
It's been five and a half years since she and my brother stopped dating. I feel like that's a long enough grace period. Going for it.
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
You know it was a challenge blowing out the candles. It was hard to think of a wish, while drunk, with a concussion.
he just sent me a picture of his penis sticking through a piece of paper that he had drawn a stick figure with tits on it that said "you"
How can I not totally like a guy that told me my boobs were too big for me to be taught how to play golf?
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
My dad told me to bring weed to easter Sunday dinner..
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
The best part of last night is not remembering half of it
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
Randomize
